--Beth asks, along with her neighbor, a young Scandinavian holding his girlchild, about a year old, wondering how the local culture defines Male. And Beth asks me to comment. So, OK--I take the bait.
Because I think I have an answer, and here it is: Right now, as never before, being a man means (1) being brave enough to love a real woman--with all her imperfections as well as her fabulosities and (2) being able to watch her (or his country) take risks. It's a tremendous challenge to his masculinity, to let a woman he adores take chances--he's vulnerable, she's at risk, all his warning lights are flashing red. He has to hold himself back. Out of respect, he watches her (his country, his woman) to see what she'll do. He bides his time. But he is always ready to deploy his superior forces on her behalf. He would never condescend to her, nor would he neglect her; it's just that war always trumps love, in his heart--force wins--but that's not always on the agenda, and sometimes she is more sensitive to what's really going on, so he has to let her do her thing while knowing he could "save" her no matter how scared he is by her daring. It's actually quite simple: being male now involves realizing that one has the superior force unfairly, feeling one' s vulnerability without shame, and being willing to make appropriate adjustments. It is the supreme test of character. And I'm happy to say I've known a few men who've passed it.
Hmmm.
Where does that leave those of us males who prefer the company of women with whom we are evenly matched?
Posted by: Chris Clarke | September 25, 2004 at 07:49 AM
I don't know. To me that sounds more like a parent than a partner.
Posted by: bill | September 25, 2004 at 07:13 PM