Work: I Hate When I Hate It

I'm told by experts that one of the pitfalls of competitive endeavor is the tendency of the better team to play down to the level of the lesser team.  Pit a virtuoso against a piker, and the virtuoso will go slack and beat him/herself, underestimating the capacity of the opponent, who will seize its opportunity and thrash the better team, strike 'em out looking.

My students are not my opponents; they're my co-conspirators, is how I look at it.  We are all conspiring for their betterment, their enlightenment, their facility with the language, the literature and its culture.  Is generally how I look at it.

But then sometimes I get a batch who aren't into it for the right reasons, and somehow I feel like I'm a shitty teacher because they want a pass, they want the credits, they are full of excuses about why they haven't done their homework--chiefly, dead friends and relatives.  "I had to leave at the break last week because my friend passed away."  "My grandfather in Australia is on his deathbed."  "I just came in to find out what the homework is [without turning in tonight's homework] because my cousin is in the emergency room from a accident."

At times like these, I feel like I hate teaching.  I think, "What a load of crap! and how can you look me in the eye and say it?  Have you no pride?  Do you think I'm stupid?"

I have to act stupid, don't I?  I have to say Oh yes dear me that is dreadful yes of course you can turn your assignment in ten days late because of course you are so ill and your cousin is dead and far be it from me to infringe on your pain.

Just when I'm about to grind my back teeth to powder, I remember a raquetball game I played years ago, when I was teaching remedial composition at Berkeley.  As I bounced the ball, warming up for my serve, I told my opponent (and dear friend) that I didn't want to teach any more, I hated what I was teaching, it sucked, I wanted to go to law school, I didn't care whether anybody ever learned to punctuate anything as long as I lived no matter what.

She never missed a beat.  She returned my serve and asked me, "If you were teaching Paradise Lost, would you feel the same way?"

Uh, no.  Not at all.  What does that make me?  "Am I A Snob?" Virginia Woolf asked herself publicly in 1934.  She didn't think she was, and I really don't think I am; I just want the people I'm trying to connect with to meet me halfway.  Is that so wrong?

Comments

[beth]

Hey, anything that gets you to post here can't be all bad!

No, you're not a snob, just honest. And no, it sn't wrong to want other people to meet you halfway - we all want that, especially when we're putting out a ton of energy toward them. I sure do. Unfortunately, life isn't even-steven most of the time, which makes the moments of connection all that more precious.

Sorry it's hard. Hang in there.

[Karen]

It must be disheartening to have to deal with students who have no real interest in learning. I would be curious to know if the majority of teachers you know have the passion that you seem to have to do a good job because it seems like nowadays that this is not the case. I have a daughter who works very hard in school and who honestly wants to do well and we have found that a great deal of the teachers she has in high school are not very interested in teaching. She actually had one teacher ask her why she was so concerned about her grades...Ummm...what kind of a question is that? I think teachers like you are in the minority but if I'm wrong, let me know.

[nikkirae]

I work with elementary kids and I feel what you are saying. Even dealing with kids that age it would be nice if more of them actually cared about doing the work.

And I too see those teachers who are lackluster and put up with anything to make the day go by. *sigh*

And we wonder with the kids these days are the way they are.

-n

[Susana]

Kids are the way they are because their parents don't want to teach them values or help their own children with homework. That is part of what makes teachers hate their jobs. They are the only ones expending energy but parents and students are too lazy to meet us halfway. Don't blame the teachers. We went into teaching because we wanted to help. Then I realized anyway, that you can't help people who don't want to help themselves. (that is what it's like to teach in the ghetto Mexican area of southern CA anyway)

[Vicki]

Teachers hate their jobs? Most, many (if not all) teachers? What a relief! I thought it was just me. I for one, feel that the diploma should be for those who earn it.

Any kid who doesn't want to work for it, needs to get a paper (without a ceremony) that states they attended (some of the time anyway) a school for 12 years or so, and that's all.

Education is a load of manure anymore. Why didn't someone tell me that when I started college to become an "educator" at the ripe old age of 34?

Anyone know what to do with a BAED besides what was written on the restroom stall walls at my alma mater?

[theresa]

Most teachers I know say "Oh, I love teaching!" I envy them. I envy them because teaching in theory is exciting and enjoyable. But in reality I want to say "I really don't like it. I'm just not happy." The reason is the lack of effort from kids and the lack of concern from parents. Admittedly, most of my kids and their parents are bilingual, often possibly illegal, but you'd think they would recognize that to get ahead and live out the American dream instead of the "Mexican Dream" or the "El Salvador Dream"--who's ever heard of that?), they are going to have to become literate and work hard! My parents don't even contact me when their kids are failing. The state says I have to give all ESL students a 70 artificially if they fail, and the majority of the time, they just didn't bother to think or try hard. I could go on and on, it drives me nuts!